This post is for everyone who tried to tell me how life "Had To Be". I'm here to tell you - YOU'RE WRONG (That's right - I used the correct "You're", as in: YOU. ARE. WRONG. I did have to stop and think about it though. Those homophones and contractions can trip all of us up, no matter our "intelligence" level.)
Truth be told, I feel pretty bad for parents, families, and kids who believe all of the above is True. Recently, an acquaintance posted on a local group that she and her kids were going to miss the weekly park get together (something that is probably a really fun, regular part of this family's life) because there were lots of tears that morning over the math lesson. I feel sad that this is accepted as normal. I feel sad because 1) Many believe that math has to be taught/forced on children (my multiplying, adding, and counting children beg to differ!) and 2) This belief causes distress in children and families that is entirely avoidable and unnecessary! I wish people could open their minds to these ideas so they and their children could suffer less and enjoy life more.
But as we all know - you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The information is available; people are sharing and the alternatives are out there. But I have to remember that people can choose to keep believing in whatever they want to. So yes, I feel sad and bad for people but I also want to shake people a little bit. Even if it means making them uncomfortable or losing a few "friends" along the way. Because these are CHILDREN we are talking about and the future of our whole world.
I know that no matter how I say this people will say I am being judgmental. They're probably right. But please know that I always try to see all people with love in my heart. I UNDERSTAND why people think and do and believe what they do. I get it. For most of those things I wrote above, I used to believe exactly the same things! But I have realized that the only thing I can do is to keep nicely saying, "You're wrong - your life, your children's life, THE WORLD, doesn't HAVE TO BE the way you keep saying it does. It's not true. You can keep believing and acting any way you want, and it will not change this Truth."
I also want to be very clear that I am not arrogant to believe that I can predict the future. I do not know what challenges the future may hold for my children or family. I do not believe that "my way" will make us immune from pain or difficulties. I have no idea what paths my children are going to choose in the future or what mistakes they or I or my husband will make in the future. In fact, I don't believe there are ANY guarantees in life and I know there are no "re-dos". And that is EXACTLY why I choose every day to buck the norms even though it may seem crazy to some (most?) Because we only have today and the relationships that we have built up to this moment and carefully continue to work on. I actually know someone who got hit by a bus and died last year. Let me repeat that - HIT BY A BUS, and DIED. That's it - her life is over. Her daughter is only a couple years older than Marisol. I used to remember that expression to remind myself to live in the moment, "You never know! You could get hit by a bus tomorrow!" and now I can't really use it anymore, because it hits way too close to home. But it's true. This is why we MUST change if we are to feel any happiness and peace in our lives.
I know I'm rambling. I'm pretty good at that. Maybe I've annoyed some people. Maybe some want to argue with me about why I'M WRONG. That's ok. But maybe I've helped someone see a new perspective. Maybe someone is curious about how this way of living can possibly work - because they haven't seen anyone do things this way. And if that happens - then it's worth it.
Please consider your choices very carefully. You will not get a chance to go back and parent your children a different way. You only get this one time.
Wife, mom, information and peace seeker.