That's a lotta "Ps"! I love it! (I know, I'm a dork - but I've learned to embrace my dorkiness, I can't help it if I love alliteration!)
I've been thinking about perfection and the pressure to be perfect (more "Ps"!) a lot the past few years. It's one reason I love Mayim Bialik's book so much (the one I'm giving away this week!) - she does not paint a picture of perfection (haha, I'm not even doing it on Purpose anymore!) in her life or family, in fact she admits that they are anything BUT perfect.
I stumbled across a post this week about how photographs posted online can give others the impression that a person is leading an idyllic or "perfect" life. If we were being rational we would know that of course NO ONE'S life is perfect and everyone struggles sometimes. Just because beautiful pictures are posted publicly, that doesn't mean that there aren't less-than-perfect moments in the person's life.
This is the reason that I posted my "Ultimate Confession" right at the top of my website - I don't want anyone ever thinking that *my* life is perfect or that we never mess up here. I don't want to contribute to competitiveness, guilt, jealousy or other destructive feelings in the world. I was thinking about this last night and then the irony struck me hard - I chose to use beautiful, professional photos at the top of my "confession" page! Ha! What a juxtaposition - my confession of how we are human with real flaws, coupled with the happy, "picture-perfect" moments captured of my family (next to a cornfield at that!) ... wow. Kind of a huge visual/literary oxymoron. But my point in choosing those pictures is that even though our lives don't always look like a professional photo, I do *choose* to focus on the good times and happy moments.
Of course we share the happy, sunny, smiling, moments on Facebook. We put pictures on our blogs of cute kids holding hands or hugging each other tightly. We instagram kids throwing leaves into the air and running freely with wild abandon. I hope that pictures of shiny, wide-eyed children and beautiful walks next to sunset streaked oceans are inspiring to others - I know they are for me.
I have a few pictures of Marisol crying miserably when she was a baby. I don't think I have one of Gerry. Does that mean he cried less? (well... maybe! haha) More likely, it reflects a change in myself as a parent. I don't even think of grabbing the camera when he is in a state like that anymore. My first thought is to comfort, offer my arms and presence - not to pick up the camera!
Remember, what you see online are snapshots. It doesn't mean anyone is "lying" or trying to deceive their audience - it simply means that they are choosing what they present to the world. No one, no family, no life is "perfect". But it is true that some people are happier then others. Why? Because they know that true Peace and Happiness comes from within and is of their own making and choosing - no matter what imperfect circumstances arise in their life.
Synchronicity - after having drafted this blogpost a few days ago I read this post from Glennon over at Momastery. I guess these things are on people's minds.
Also, when I started this post and as I posted my latest give-away I had no idea that Mayim Bialik had filed for divorce. Mike brought it to my attention last night and it I definitely have a lot of feelings and thoughts about that. Mostly compassion for her and her husband and kids as they go through a tough time. Mayim has really put herself and her beliefs about attachment parenting "out there" and now she is under even greater scrutiny - of course people are questioning if their style of parenting contributed to their split.
I will just say that the book is awesome, regardless of her marital status, I promise! Head over to this post and leave me a comment if you want to enter the drawing!
So the synchronicity continues. Through a new friend on Facebook I was led to another awesome new blog. The first post I stumbled onto is here. It spoke to me deeply. This woman has a way with words and I felt like she was writing about me (I guess really great writers do that!) Also she used the word "synchronicities" in the second paragraph.
So I explored Jess Morrow's Invincible Summer some more and found this post that includes an awesome give-away. I just found this last night and the deadline is tomorrow. We are out of town - in Ohio to celebrate a cousin's graduation. But this idea grabbed me so here I am trying to fit in a blog-post on the road.
The give away is for a spot in her summer e-course and the instructions were to:
1. Rearrange something/create some space. (Think creatively: is this physical space or mental? Or something else?)
2. Try something new.
Since I stumbled onto this late and the week is almost up I had to take some creative license (isn't that something a writer would do??) with the directions and think about things that I have been doing recently. I can't help thinking that it was meant to be for me to find Jess's give away - I am so excited when I read her description of her e-course.
My new space is definitely this blog/website. This is very new for me - writing, writing consistently, and really, REALLY enjoying it. I actually have that urgent feeling that I have heard other writers talk about - like I *have to* write (or what? I guess my brain might explode!). It is evolving in ways that I could never have guessed when I began last fall. It is both a physical and a mental space. It began because I finally felt ready to share my voice, and as I have begun to share I am discovering more - about myself, and the world, and the world that we can create if we believe enough to follow through. I have a big dream of writing a book and it actually doesn't seem that far-fetched. Beyond that I am not sure. But I feel something tugging at me and Jess's direction would be an amazing place to begin answering my heart-tug.
Besides this blog I have been exploring a lot of new territory mentally and spiritually. I started meditating during Lent and it is now an almost-daily habit. I don't have words to describe how meditating is transforming my life - the way it is grounding me and helping me live out my ideals in my every day life - I hope that Jess can help me begin to tap into powerful, beautiful words that can describe this experience. And of course affirmations. Another very new practice for me that is proving to be life changing.
I am reading books (Louise Hay, Deepok Chopra) that are inspiring me to take my life to another level. I am comforted by their wisdom (Louise mentions both that people these days want things NOW, and that truly good things take time. She also didn't really know where she was "going" when she started out, but she trusted and kept taking steps - and now look at her!) and I'm inspired by their consistently positive attitudes.
I have also reached out to two authors and one has responded. She is willing to speak to me on the phone! I am looking forward to my first "interview" and writing it up later this Spring.
Jess's course appeals to me for many reasons. The first is finding my voice. I think that is a huge part of Why I'm writing here and I know I'm getting there, but I think I'll get there quicker with help. Also the Manifesto that I linked earlier speaks so much to my heart - saying what others may be afraid to (like here), dreaming big (like having Mayim Bialik write the forward to my book!), and just following my heart so I make sure to soak up all the beauty in this life meant for me.
I guess that covers it. I am creating space. I am doing new things. And I'm ready for the next new thing.
"Synchronicity is an ever present reality
for those who have eyes to see." ☼
This is going to be a rambly, stream of consciousness post. I was thinking of this word "synchronicity" today and not even sure if it was the word I thought it was. Then I opened Facebook tonight and my friend Angie had posted the above picture and quote. All I can say is: Holy Synchronicity.
It is so weird how these things seem to keep happening. I feel so connected lately to so many people that I've never even met in person. It's pretty amazing. I'll be thinking about something, or have a question, and then I read a book or a blog or a quote on facebook and it is like the Universe read my mind.
Here are some recent examples. The other day Gerry was playing with my phone and handed it to me. Somehow he had opened this video on You-tube.
I liked it a lot and posted it to Facebook. (I realize I am often slow to pick up on things - this video has almost 4 million hits and 40,000 likes. What can I say, I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I'm not exactly "up" on the cool music). I like this song so much, I've been listening to it a lot this past week.
Then twice more this week "friends" of mine have referenced this song: Here and here. Call me strange or stalkerish, or whatever else, it made me feel close to these women whom I only know through the internet. Music is cool like that - it connects us. I am also realizing how I need to incorporate music back into my daily life. It is such an important part of who I am and that I have lost touch with since my kiddos were born.
Ok, so synchronicity. Was it just a crazy coincidence that Gerry opened that You-tube video? I don't know, but it wouldn't have meant as much to me later when other people mentioned it.
What else? I've been interested for some time in learning more about essential oils. Several of my friends from my Hypnobabies training use them and talk about them. But I haven't had the time to really look into them more. Then Tara Wagner had a free call about them and I learned more and it spurred me to buy some. I can't wait to get them and try them! I couldn't help feeling the synchronicity of the circumstances - something I had been vaguely wanting for a while and then an easy way for me to access it literally popping into my path. One of my good neighborhood friends is into essential oils too, and we have been talking a lot and she lent me a book to learn more about them!
Something else that has been on my mind is forgiveness. Specifically the process of it. I get why we should forgive others - that is necessary to our own well being to let go. That if we cannot and dwell on the past, that we are only hurting ourselves in the present moment. The thing that I personally struggle with is the "how". How to let go and stop dwelling in the past? I put the question out there - literally - in a forum of amazing women that I am on. I haven't gotten any responses. Maybe they're not sure how to do it either.
Then this evening I just happened upon another website that looks super-interesting and it included a post called "How to Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You".
And *then* I saw this in my Facebook newsfeed:
"Just as a truly courageous person is someone who knows fear but acts bravely in spite of it, a truly forgiving person is someone who experiences all the anger merited by injustice and still acts with fairness and compassion." ☼
- Martha Beck
In the words (or word) of my friend Angie, "BAM!"
I've been wondering a lot lately if all this feel good stuff I've been writing about - affirmations, positive thinking, etc. etc. - is only really relevant when you already have it pretty good. It's a question in my mind. Like, yeah, sure it's all good and well for me to "think positive" when I am already blessed with so many things. But what about people who aren't so lucky? Life keeps answering me again and again. I see so many beautiful, strong examples of people who overcome tragic circumstances in their lives and are saying the same things. Louise Hay and Immaculee Ilibagiza immediately jump to mind (and Immaculee is a truly inspiring example of forgiveness too, her books are amazing).
If you have a question, let it sit, the answer will likely come to you. Other people have the same questions. Here is a clip of Deepak Chopra answering a similar question to mine on Oprah's new show. Every day I am seeing how we get in life what we are looking for. I certainly didn't look or feel inspired today, in fact I was drained. But instead of feeding into the tired feeling with negative thoughts, I really didn't think much at all. The kids and I stayed in all day. We rested. Then we made it outside and saw some neighborhood friends, had dinner, and a nice evening. The house even got picked up a bit. I am slowly learning to allow myself to be tired and do nothing and not feel bad about it. I know that my energy will pick back up if I just let it happen. This weekend we are traveling to Ohio for Mike's cousin's graduation. So my next post may be later next week. Until then, look for the Synchronicity in your life. I promise it's there.
"All coincidences are connected by meaning, but synchronicity happens when the meaningfulness is relevant to our personal evolution." ☼
- Dave Richo
Shared via: SoulfulLiving.com
Wife, mom, information and peace seeker.