Together Walking

Peace and Passion

6/25/2012

What brings you peace?
What lights your fire?
What calms your mind?
What excites you?
What makes your body feel vital?
What opens your heart?

Do more of those things, my darling, and miracles will begin happening all around you.

A miracle worker,
Your Inner Pilot Light"
http://www.facebook.com/YourInnerPilotLight

A fiery sunrise - Peace and Passion Pictorial

When I think of passion I think of fire. When we are passionate about something in our lives it gives us purpose. Passion can make us want to proclaim our truths from the rooftops. It drives us to action every day. But passion can also ignite anger and opposition in ourselves or others when our deepest held beliefs are challenged.

I've been feeling rather passionate about life recently and writing. I've mentioned that it is like I'm ON FIRE! - Which is great but it can also lead to burnout.

And then there is peace. That wonderful, easy feeling inside when everything is right. A walk outside, sun shining, breeze on your skin, your mind calm and heart happy. Ahhh, peeeeeace.

Part of me wonders if the two can co-exist. I've noticed a trend in myself that I will often write when I am feeling very strong emotions - usually sad, angry, or hurt. I also journaled a lot right after my children were born and my feelings were of intense joy and gratitude. But in the past, as my passion faded, so did my writing. And when I'm feeling passionate and ON FIRE, I'm certainly not feeling very peaceful!

On the other hand, when I feel peaceful it sometimes feels like every interesting thought has left my mind. There's just nothing there! I enjoy feeling peaceful, but it also kind of scares me because I don't want to lose the passion!

I am beginning to think that there is a way to have both in our lives, and when we are living our lives in alignment with our true selves, these two seemingly opposite forces may come into balance. I have an "equation" in my mind lately that feels like a good way to describe how I feel about passion and peace. It is this:

Passion + Peace = Flow

Which reminds me of this picture I saw on Facebook the other day:

*Image shared from: www.live-inspired.com/

I have to say that this sums it up pretty well. When I have found my own perfect balance and am taking care of myself and am really paying attention to what needs to be done in the moment - Everything just flows. And it is more than "going with the flow" - *I* really am the flow!

We *need* both passion and peace in our lives. Too much of one or the other may lead to burnout or complacency. I loved this post on Bliss Habits explaining how to channel our passion. Because passion *is* like a fire and if we don't try to both guide and feed it we may lose it. I believe this is where peace can come into play. When we take time for stillness and silence, for prayer or meditation, or to just *be*, we are at once giving our minds and spirits a break from our passion and room for it to grow.

I've had a difficult time writing this post for some reason, even though I've been mulling over this idea for months now. Today I came across a couple of quotes about passion that seemed to be urging me on, please just write the damn post!

I'll leave you with them:

"Your true passion should feel like breathing; it's that natural" Oprah Winfrey

"If you can't figure out your purpose, figure our your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose." Bishop T.D. Jakes

And not to leave peace out here a couple:

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” Albert Einstein

Last but not least - because it says the same thing as Albert Einstein's, but just made me laugh, I leave you with this one and hopefully a smile, because Mother Teresa said, "Peace begins with a smile," (ok, so Peace got three quotes since I just snuck that one in there, but what can I say? I love peace!)

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” George Carlin

What are your thoughts or feelings on Peace and Passion? Do you have both in your life right now? How do you balance them?

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Think Outside the Diaper!

6/19/2012

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"The unexamined life is not worth living"
Socrates

Gerry in his night-time diaper. Yes you can see his shorts peeking out UNDERNEATH the diaper!

A Friend's Facebook Status
One Time Long Ago:
Remind me that the next time I put a diaper on (my baby) before sleeping with him in one bed in a hotel room I MUST remember to make sure his penis is inside the diaper.

I don't really have many pet peeves. There just isn't a lot that annoys me - especially little things that people do. I don't feel like it's worth the effort or time to get upset over things like people talking with food in their mouths or forgetting to introduce me to their spouse. But recently I've discovered a chink in my pet peeve armor. I really can't stand it when people say things or do things without thinking about them. Statements like, "well everyone's doing such and such these days," or "That's just how it's done now" are the epitome of unexamined thoughts and actions. And if these statements are made in regards to children then my tail feathers REALLY get ruffled. *Thinking* is essential when we are making decisions regarding our children. Not reacting or doing what our neighbor does or what our own mother did with us. Examining our intentions, our hopes, our children's needs and connecting with our own internal compass to guide our decisions is one way to mindful choices.

Perfection is not the point. Of course none of us are perfect. The point is being aware and actively try to make choices from a place of love and awareness.

This to me is one of the great aspects of choosing to parent without punishments or rewards. It forces you to be creative, brainstorm, and come up with new ways of doing things. You are more likely to have discussions and problem solve when you are in the mode of being your child's partner.

The same friend who posted the humorous status above has had to be creative recently with her older son and his bathroom/sleep needs. Last summer after he turned 5 he started having accidents in his bed at night. He had been fully potty trained and dry through the nights for quite some time. So now, before going to bed herself, my friend carries her son to the bathroom (he's usually been asleep for a few hours by this time) and has him pee. She then guides him back to bed - he actually walks himself and never fully wakes up! I asked her if she was nervous the first time she tried this and she said yes. I mean, no one wants to wake up their sleeping child! But it works for them, and I love her for creatively and lovingly meeting his need.

My own son Gerry has been fully potty trained during the day since he was 2 1/2 - I remember because the exact day that marked his 2 1/2 year birthday he did his first successful outing without diapers. Nighttime is still a work in progress - he is probably dry 90% or more of the time. But the kid does not want to put a diaper on! No way, no how - he is DONE.

D - U -N

So for the last several months we usually put a diaper - disposable or cloth - on him after he fell asleep (unless we were feeling daring and just decided to risk it!) Usually it was no big deal - especially if I did it right after he fell asleep and he was in a deep sleep. Sometimes it was a pain when he stayed up late and I was exhausted. Pulling his shorts down was always a bit risky as as "wake up" factor. Luckily he easily goes back to sleep by nursing. And it was worth leaving his dignity intact.

Our newest solution is to put a cloth diaper right over his shorts (see photo above). It's working well! Since we started doing that consistently he's been dry every morning! Go figure.

My point in sharing these two stories (both about sleep and potty) is that there are often solutions to situations that are not immediately obvious or the "norm". By being creative and flexible we are modeling not only those attributes, but also showing our children that we are ready to support them the best we can. No, we are not perfect and do not have all the answers but we are their partners. Also we can try things and see if they work - if they don't, try something else! Fear often stops us from even trying. Fear of what others think, fear of being "weird", or just plain fear of waking your sleeping child!

I'd love to hear some times when you've been able to "Think Outside the Diaper" - whether you are a parent or not! Creative problem solving feels GOOD - share some of your brilliant moments! You may inspire someone else...

And I'll leave you with some more Wubbzy Wisdom, my Happy and Deep Mascot ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By The Book
Lyrics: Bob Boyle / Music: b. Mossman

It's good to do things the proper way
But if it goes wrong that's okay
If it's not right, don't be uptight
It doesn't have to be by the book

By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book

If you're out to have some fun but you find there is no sun
It's okay, enjoy the day
Even if it's not by the book

If you want to play a game but the pieces aren't the same
There's a way for you to play
Even if it's not be by the book

By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book

If the recipe calls for Doodleberry Jam...Doodleberry Jam!
But all you have is Polka-Dot Ham...Polka-Dot Ham!
It's not a waste
Enjoy the taste
Cuz it doesn't have to be by the book

When you're building something cool but you don't have the right tool
It is fine to re-design
It doesn't have to be by the book

If you have a fancy hat but you find it's rather flat
Don't be blue, try something new
It doesn't have to be by the book

By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book

It's good to do things the proper way
But if it goes wrong that's okay
If it's not right, don't be uptight
It doesn't have to be by the book

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I love life!

6/13/2012

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I love that it is 1:30 am and I can't sleep. I love that I was hungry so I got up and ate pancakes with butter and syrup and drank milk. I love that my daughter is my teacher even though everyone thinks that I am hers. I love butter. I love food. I love hearing my son's laugh everyday and watching his whole face light up with joy. I love that I will probably be tired tomorrow and maybe even grumpy, but that I've noticed I am less grumpy since I've started writing. I love that now when I can't sleep I try doing different things.

I love sunny, breezy days. I love seeing friends and impromptu play-dates. I love going for a walk with a neighborhood friend and her dog. I love syrup. I love knowing that even when things are really hard, they will get better. I love that when I feel alone, there will be a time in the near future when I won't. I love to say the word FUCK in my head - still not out loud, but it's fun to write too! I love people who curse and OWN IT. I love people who never swear and don't need to. I love learning every day. I love trying new things and going to new places. I love carbs. I love giving birth. I love helping other people prepare to give birth. I love that my kids like watching birth videos. I love that Gerry has put baby dolls through a model pelvis. I love the cherry blossoms in the spring. I love Christmas carols. I love Wubbzy songs....

Treasure from recent Treasure Hunt - oh yeah, I love Sangria too!

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We're back!

6/12/2012

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The kids and I had the most amazing week up in good old Bloomfield and Irondequoit NY. We got to see tons of family and play with cousins and just generally get pampered with lots of love and attention.

After about 7 hours in the car yesterday we were VERY happy to be home. Nothing like a long car ride with your kids to make you appreciate your humble abode. Gerry was cracking me up last night because he couldn't decide what he wanted to do, "I want paint", then he saw scissors, "I want cut", then his attention wandered to the automatic kitty feeder - oooh, buttons that make things move!

But this morning that is exactly how I felt - I was ON FIRE. I wanted to unpack, clean the house, use my new Vitamix (thanks Mike!), look up natural recipes for shampoo and sunscreen, write thank you notes, and of course WRITE! I also have so many good pictures begging to be shared - uploaded, emailed, snapfished, blogged, SOMETHING.

But my fire was pretty quickly doused. By mundane things like eating and feeding my kids (at least I used my Vitamix!) Marisol was tired from our adventures and at the same time bored (deadly combination!) by being at home without playmates (which she had all week!) Gerry was out of sorts and seemed to be making up for a week of less nursing.

Finally I was able to surrender to it all. And it really wasn't that bad of a day (although I did have a glass of wine at 5:30...) A year or two ago I would have felt depressed. So today was a vast improvement. I was actually kind of manic to start the day. My expectations were just WAY out of wack.

It is so ironic. My kids have been this amazing catalyst and inspiration for change in my life. And I just want to change more! And share! But my first priority is them. And they are still little. So such is my balance for now. I know that in one week the balance will be different. And in a month or a year again. So I return to my breath and the present moment.

Ahhh - there it is. Peace.

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Mirrors

6/4/2012

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Mirrors...

We all hold them up,
and everything reflects off at crazy angles,
bouncing every which way.

Sometimes the flashes
are so bright
They blind us.

Other times we see a reflection,
and cannot, no will not,
believe it can possibly be.

Still others, we wield our own,
like a shield, Ducking
and deflecting everything away.

But then, every once in a while,
a crystal clear image falls upon our eye,
and we see-

REALLY SEE

It is just our-self.

What if we all put our mirrors down,
and just let our own light radiate in all directions,
Without our mirror-shields we would be free,
to soak up the rays from everyone we meet.

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Normal?

6/4/2012

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"A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?"
~Albert Einstein

I love this - it's so true!

‎Well this is a post that has been brewing for quite some time. And then my writing prompt today from the Invincible Summer writing e-course was this, "It's ok to be weird, Maybe your weird is my normal. Who's to say? I think it's an attitude." Lady Gaga

So this is going to be a random hodgepodge of a post - part free write response, part flash back to my child-hood days on the playground, and part "linky-love" to some other cool posts and blogs that relate (in my mind anyways!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Weird is normal and normal is weird" I chanted with my friend on the playground. As we swing from the monkey bars her waist-long hair also sways with our strong, confident movements.

Let me say that again: normal is weird.

Kids speak the truth. We knew it back then - that normal can't be pinned down, that really, we are all unique and beautiful in our own ways. This same friend once said to me, "I think girls with blonde hair and blue eyes are the prettiest." Strangely enough it didn't bother me too much - maybe because I half fit the bill with my own sparkly blues (and blonde streaks at least!) Or maybe I was aware that I was just as beautiful as she was. Was that weird of her to make such a bold statement? Or was it just pure confidence? Pure self-love? (For the record it was definitely *not* poor self-esteem or trying to make me feel bad. I recognized it then and I can still see it clearly in my mind's eye).

Back to "normal". What *is* normal? Is it average? Is it being the "same" as most other people? Is it following rules or fitting in? And who exactly gets to decide what normal is? And beyond that - what is the opposite of normal? Is it crazy?

Oh crazy. Another loaded word. A blogger I love once wrote about the word "crazy" and it has helped me re-think it and how I use it. I say it too often but try to justify that at least it is usually in reference to myself!

What is crazy? Deciding you can make a difference? That you can change the world and that your voice matters? That you are important enough to follow your own dreams? No, that's not crazy, but if you need some encouragement here's a battle cry for you!

Some of my favorite people are the most eccentric. Normal seems kind of bland and boring. And that is the safe side of normal - there can be a dangerous side to normal too. Passivity, apathy, or ignorance disguised by words like, "that's just the way things are," or "everyone does such and so these days" can make normal seem inevitable. It is not.

On the other hand, I'm not saying throw out *nice*. Normal and nice do not have to be married to each other. It is important to be kind to each other. But a fake "niceness" to fit in to some approved box, no thanks. Personally I don't think that I'm crazy at all. The rest of the world is (grinning wildly here). Choosing love is sanity. The rest of it - crazy. But as far as the notion of normal goes, I'll take the weirdos and the crazies any day. At least I know their being real.

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Peace and Passion

Think Outside the Diaper!

I love life!

We're back!

Mirrors

Normal?

Susan May

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