Why almost all "Beliefs" don't matter

Have you ever noticed how two statements that sound the "opposite" can both be true? Or even be saying the same thing at their core?

For example, I wrote a post a while ago titled "What if parenting isn't about your kids at all?" What I meant is that I've flipped things around and decided to make parenting be about the person *I* strive to be RIGHT NOW in this moment, not the future person I'm dreaming I can mold my child into with the perfect parenting equation.

Of course then I read this comment on one of my most favorite fellow mommy blogs and found myself nodding in agreement, "From the second I knew from the bottom of my soul that parenting had nothing to do with ME and everything to do with THEM." Duh, of course she's right! It's not about me at all - after all it's my kids' lives we're talking about here, right?? (btw, this wise mama blogs here if you're interested)


Hmm... so which is right? Is parenting about me or the kids? Or do we really have to choose?


But it gets more interesting. The comment that I cited above was on a post titled, "Mommy Wars and Judgement Prohibited: Freeing Ourselves" (and yes I'm linking it again - I didn't write it, but I want it to go viral. Please read. Please share. You never know who {whom?} you might help or touch). 


Guess what? Another one of my favorite blogs (what can I say, I have a lot!) posted this: "Why Ending the "Mommy Wars" is Misguided and Dangerous" and I LOVED it too! How can that be? By looking at the titles of these two posts you might conclude that they are saying completely opposite things.


But they are not. (Read them! I swear to you, these two pieces are not at odds with each other.) This is why we have to get past the one-liners and the bible verses, the cliches and campaign slogans. We need to dig deeper. We cannot understand each other if we keep talking at each other the same way. We need to have full-on, raw, deep conversations with each other. We need to see each other's hearts. We need to LISTEN.


There is apparently a raging debate going on about some "reality" show person that I have no idea about. But I read an article today titled, "What You Believe About Homosexuality Doesn't Matter," and something inside of me was sparked because that is EXACTLY what I just said in my last post, "Nothing really matters" - what I BELIEVE doesn't matter very much. (This thought can actually be very freeing - try it! Once you realize it doesn't matter what you believe, you can focus on the things that do matter.) I also read through a very long thread on a friend's wall today about this topic. The debate was actually quite maddening but it was also amazing because it made me think and feel braver and stronger about what I know is True and Right. 


Someone on that thread stated that BELIEFS MATTER because they lead to actions. 


Guess what? I agree with that too. And actually both the author of the above post and the commenter on Facebook both had the same goal - love and acceptance for people in the LGBTQ community. 


Oh my gosh, this is such a delicious thread of random (or synchronous!) connectedness here! (which is why I'm writing at 12:30 am and not in bed!) Yes it IS true, our actions do matter. Treating each other kindly matters. Using our words wisely matters. Loving matters. That, my friends, is the point. Those are the ONLY things that matter.


I believe in Kindness. The difficulty of course lies is the fact of what we do when faced with UNkindness. We cannot let it slide by. That is not kind to anyone - including ourselves. 


Well, this is a bit disjointed but I'm putting it out there into the vast cyber-network. I want to hear from you... Tell me:


Can you think of any of these seemingly "oxymoronic" (apparently I'm making up words left and right here! That's what happens at this hour...) statements - ideas that side by side on paper look completely contradictory - but you either love them both or find them both to be true? More importantly, what guides you in your life? Beliefs? Action? Something else? I want to know!