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As we move forward, it is vital that we keep our focus on what kind of world we want to live in. At the heart of what has happened in 2020 is not a statistic, a study, or an expert's opinion. We need to dig deeper than that. I believe we need to get to common principles and a philosophy so we can move forward in a way that honors all of humanity. Believing in this possibility is part of my life philosophy. If you could rewind to March of 2020, or even farther back that that, what would you change? If you could see what will be in the future, what dreams does your heart hold for future generations? If I could go back in time I would want more humility, more listening, more discussion and more embracing of uncertainties and certainties**. It is true that we didn't know what we were facing; but, instead of admitting that, our leaders ramped up fear to paralyzing levels, in order to get people to do what they deemed necessary. What if we had leaders that said things like this, "Right now we're not sure about how deadly this is, how easily it spreads, how it spreads, and who is most at risk. We think it's best to be cautious while we learn more. To that end, we recommend the following (recommendations follow)." And that is what they would have been - recommendations. Recommendations are a lot easier to reverse than mandates. Uncertainty is scary enough. Using models (that later prove to be completely inaccurate) to push fear levels sky high is never helpful. I would argue that it's immoral. Look at the more recent information and compare it to what we were told a few short months ago. NPR published an article on May 28th titled: Antibody Tests Point To Lower death Rate for the Coronavirus Than First Thought. The CDC has lowered it's estimates of the CFR for coronavirus to .4% for symptomatic cases. When you add in asymptomatic cases that number drops even further. But even the CDC numbers are now being fact checked now because it seems people don't want to believe it might not be as bad as we thought! (And might there be some egos involved that don't want to admit that they were wrong? Humility in the beginning allows for humility later on...) The point is: we can argue about numbers all day long - no matter what your source, expert, study is - someone will have a counter source that supports their view. Additionally, there will always be new information, new studies, new statistics. We need to find something more constant to pin our decisions on. Side note: Did you know that there is actually a book called "How To Lie With Statistics"? This description is fascinating: "There is terror in numbers," writes Darrell Huff in How to Lie with Statistics. And nowhere does this terror translate to blind acceptance of authority more than in the slippery world of averages, correlations, graphs, and trends. Huff sought to break through "the daze that follows the collision of statistics with the human mind" with this slim volume, first published in 1954. The book remains relevant as a wake-up call for people unaccustomed to examining the endless flow of numbers pouring from Wall Street, Madison Avenue, and everywhere else someone has an axe to grind, a point to prove, or a product to sell. "The secret language of statistics, so appealing in a fact-minded culture, is employed to sensationalize, inflate, confuse, and oversimplify," warns Huff.") Sounds like an interesting read! So let's forget the numbers for a bit. Instead let's think of questions we might ask ourselves as we reflect on the past few months and try to feel our way forward. Here are a few that come to my mind:
Here is one historical perspective on who controls the narratives and information flow to the public: When thinking about "control" of public perception and reactions, the media is probably one of the most, if not THE most, influential entity. It seems like most people understand on an instinctive level the power of the media. But even though we "know" this is true on an intellectual level, most don't adjust their behaviors by choosing to disengage from the media, thereby weakening its power. (Question for exploration: Who controls the media?) I, myself, was in a state of constant searching in the early days of the lockdown. What was the truth? Were the steps we taking necessary? Were they RIGHT? It took a while for me to realize how much NOT tuning into mainstream news every day influenced my perspective. I have never watched mainstream news. I never liked it, never was drawn to it. I used to feel guilty about it, because I thought I was not being a "responsible citizen". Now I see that the opposite is true! How much more helpful for me to not get sucked into that vortex of fear and manipulation. So how do we find sources of information that we trust? That is not a simple question to answer. I have actually become way more informed because of social media. I find people to follow that I trust. Why do I trust them? Because over time they prove themselves to be trustworthy. Some of the people I most admire from these past 2 months are those who actually changed their mind. I have seen people - scientists and friends - change their tune when faced with new information. One thing you can be certain of: any mainstream media has a huge bias - whether they lean "left" or "right" - they have agendas and forces outside of "seeking the truth" that influence them. When thinking about this idea of finding "truth" and knowing what is going on in the wider world, consider the following article (click on the picture, it links to the actual article): None of those photos are of actual, real, in-the-flesh people. They are computer created. There are already tens of thousands of "Deepfake" videos online. Soon, we will not know if a video or picture is real or computer created. This seems scary. It's already so difficult to discern what is true and what is not! But in actuality it may be freeing. How can that be? Consider the following sentiment that seemed to resonant with many people: A friend shared the above sentiment. I think it is missing the mark. Being "plugged in" will not lead to us being present and connected. When we constantly seek to know "exactly what is going on" we can never be truly present. Because what we need to be connected to is right in front of us: Our families, our daily lives, our work, our purpose. None of those things change, regardless of what is going on out in the wider world. What kind of world do I want? I want a world where people are encouraged to ask hard questions and have tough conversations with each other. Where we may not agree 100% with our neighbor, but we love and respect them anyways. Actually, scratch that - "anyways" - instead make that, we love and respect them ALWAYS. I want a world where information truly is just that - information. What we do with that information will be up to each individual and family. I want a world where I can smile at a stranger in the grocery store and they see my whole face, even if they choose differently than me. I want a world where people are not shamed for making a different choice. I want a world where children hug and roughhouse and play together, not because they are "allowed" to but because that is what they are meant to do. I want a world where I get to decide what's important to me and my family and you get to decide for yours.
In the beginning of this post I said I wanted more embracing of uncertainties and CERTAINTIES. "But what is certain in this uncertain world?" you ask. I want a world where people realize the one thing for **CERTAIN** is that we are ALL going to die one day and that the only thing we really have is HOW we live TODAY. What kind of world do you want?
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As we approach two full months since our country began it's widespread lock-down, it is difficult to get a good perspective on what we're going through. We're still in the middle of it. There are so many different aspects and perspectives, different ideas and beliefs, new studies and recommendations every week. It would be impossible to take it all in.
But it's important to try and make sense of some things. I believe two crucial things we need to do are: 1) Lessen Fear and 2) Learn Lessons Lessening Fear: Treatments, Media, Healthy Habits No one can claim that they have been "right" or that they had the answers for what we're going through. But I do know, that from the beginning I was focused on keeping my fear and stress level low. This was, and continues to be, important for my health which impacts my family's health, and by extension our community, nation and yes, even the world. We each need to do our part. Will we be perfect? No! My fear and anxiety has been like a wild roller coaster ride! But I address it each day anew. It truly is a practice. I think the first and most important way we can lessen our worldwide fear level is to realize that there ARE effective treatments! What great news! Unfortunately, the mainstream media thrives on creating drama - click-bait titles, views, ratings etc. If you want to find information about treatments that are working (and also what is NOT working) you have to seek the information yourself. Then you need to share so this information spreads to as many people as possible. If you or someone you love gets sick, YOU are the advocate and are empowered with this information. Here is a great article to start your research: "We’ve Cracked the COVID-19 Code.” (And Why No One is Listening.)" For the past 2 months I have been sharing information about Vitamin C. For the hundreds of thousands of people who are already familiar with how powerful Vitamin C is - because it is a daily part of their lives - it is not a huge surprise that the media is not picking up on alternative healing solutions in a significant way. We already knew this was going on. For the average person it is a difficult truth to accept - the people in powerful positions are not trying to spread this good news, in fact they often try to do the opposite by discrediting and suppressing information. But it doesn't take a genius or a "conspiracy" to explain this phenomenon - healthier people and Vitamin C will literally make many medications obsolete and there goes millions, if not billions, of dollars of profit for the pharmaceutical companies. The best news possible for people is the worst for these businesses. It's a bittersweet pill for us to accept. But we need to start becoming empowered to take control of our own health. For more information about Vitamin C and coronavirus you can check out Dr. Cheng, Dr. Brownstein** and Doris Loh. There are many others, but these are good sources to start with. **The link to Dr. Brownstein's website no long works because the FTC has ordered him to stop sharing what his practice is doing. Read more here. Other ways to lessen our fear are to disengage from the mainstream media and work on healthy habits - getting enough sleep, eating well, getting outside - sun! fresh air! moving, spending time with loved ones, and one of my favorites - laughing! (My favorite new routine is watching Shitt's Creek with Mike most evenings - the belly laughs are so healing!) We all know that these are important, but changing habits is difficult. It's so important that we each do our best, because when we are feeling calm and centered that spreads outwards from us in ways we can't even begin to quantify or understand. Learning Lessons: Listening, Healthy Debate, Trust We can all agree that we need to learn from this experience. We will not all agree with what the most important lessons are, but the hope is that we can all learn from each other by truly listening. From my perspective, we cannot get to the deeper lessons without first lessening our collective fear, which is why I addressed that first. This is crucial because when our brains are in a fearful state we literally CANNOT access the calm, rational parts of our brain necessary for listening and learning. Not being able to hear people with different perspectives was an issue from the beginning and continues to be a big problem. Here is an important perspective about the loss of healthy debate. I think this is one of the most important lessons we need to learn from this experience. If we had slowed down and really considered the many different aspects of this complex issue, we most likely would have taken a very different path. It's important to appreciate that there is not one right answer and there was no perfect way to respond to this world wide experience. Here is another good read and a quote from it that rings true for me, "But after thinking and writing about this question it seems that the most reasonable approach in this crisis is transparent information–no matter how stark. And, crucially, we must have space for public debate." From my perspective, there are decisions that were made that are now difficult to undo. When we gave so much power to our governments to determine our path we lost a lot. (Of course, this was something that we had been building up to for years and decades, so not something so easily avoided when the crap hit the fan 2 months ago. What we can do is begin to adjust course NOW.) Please keep in mind, many things may have looked the same with transparent information and recommendations from our government - people would have chosen to be cautious, to socially distance, and do what they felt was necessary to keep themselves and their loved ones as safe as possible. People are generally intelligent and we need to trust them to make these important decisions. Does it mean you will always agree with your neighbors' choices? Of course not! But with each passing day and week, thousands of families' situations are becoming more dire. More and more people are recognizing this, but the path we are on is not easily reversed. My hope is that we learn from this and respond much differently in the future. This story is far from being finished - lessening fear and learning lessons will continue be an important part of our collective path. What are your hopes? What have you learned? How do you keep your fear level at manageable levels? I would love to hear your thoughts and perspective as we continue to navigate this unprecedented experience. This is part 2 of a two part blog series. You can read the first part here: Presumed Guilty. People who want to retain their right to say what goes into their and their children's bodies are increasingly being backed into a corner. State governments are making the laws for school attendance stricter and stricter. Jobs in the medical and educational fields, as well as others, are starting to be contingent on vaccination too. It is imperative to present information that illustrates the slogan "safe and effective" is not as accurate as we've been led to believe. In essence we need to prove there is "reasonable doubt" when it comes to our current practice of vaccination. The vaccine issue is complex and multifaceted. History, science and studies, personal stories from people impacted by vaccines and Doctors willing to share what they've seen are just a few areas to begin considering - it is something that truly takes hours upon hours and years of dedication to untangle. This post is for people who are just beginning to look into the issue of vaccines. These are basic facts and will not "cover" the issue in any significant way. I've been studying for over 10 years, and intensively for the past year or so. When I chose to vaccinate my daughter almost 14 years ago I did exactly ZERO minutes of research. I think this is true for the majority of people. The National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986 is a great starting point. It "Establishes the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVICP) as an alternative remedy to judicial action for specified vaccine-related injuries." Basically, vaccine makers were threatening to stop making vaccines because law suits against them were making the business unprofitable. The government stepped in and said we'll take responsibility. The maximum award through this program is $250,000 - even in the case of death. "The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program was established by the 1986 National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act (NCVIA), passed by the United States Congress in response to a threat to the vaccine supply due to a 1980s scare over the DPT vaccine. Despite the belief of most public health officials that claims of side effects were unfounded, large jury awards had been given to some plaintiffs, most DPT vaccine makers had ceased production, and officials feared the loss of herd immunity.[1]" To date the NVICP has awarded over 4 billion dollars. In 1990 VAERS (the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) was established. From wikipedia: "The Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) is a United States program for vaccine safety, co-managed by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). VAERS is a postmarketing surveillance program, collecting information about adverse events (possible harmful side effects) that occur after administration of vaccines to ascertain whether the risk–benefit ratio is high enough to justify continued use of any particular vaccine. How under-reported are vaccine injuries? In 2011 Harvard published a study showing that "fewer than 1% of vaccine adverse events are reported." This means that we may need to multiply any reported events by up to or around 100 to get a better idea of how many vaccine injuries are truly occurring. This study was funded by the US Department of Health and Human services. A reasonable person might think that we had better follow up on this study and in improve our surveillance system. That has not been the case. From the report: "Unfortunately, there was never an opportunity to perform system performance assessments because the necessary CDC contacts were no longer available and the CDC consultants responsible for receiving data were no longer responsive to our multiple requests to proceed with testing and evaluation." Read the full report here: Electronic Support for Public Health–Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (ESP:VAERS). This history and the fact that our reporting system is so woefully inadequate is enough evidence for many people to appreciate that what we grew up believing - that vaccines are safe and effective and that injuries are "rare" - isn't as straightforward as we once thought. Our current global situation with Covid19 has many people interested in the development of a new vaccine. However, many well known, pro-vaccine doctors are warning that this is not a simple, straightforward and easy solution. A study published in 2012 says, "Because of well documented severity of the respiratory disease among infants given an inactivated RSV vaccine and subsequently infected with RSV that is considered to be attributable to a Th2-type immunopathologic reaction and a large number of studies in the Balb/c mouse model that have described and elucidated many components of the immunopathologic reaction to RSV vaccines, the similarity to the SARS-CoV vaccine evaluations in Balb/c mice supports caution for clinical vaccine trials with SARS-CoV vaccines in humans. (emphasis mine)" That is surely enough evidence to validate anyone wanting to opt out of this vaccine, even those who are typically pro-vaccine. For anyone wanting to dig into the vaccine issue more, I'll leave you with a couple of videos. The first is a link to RFK Jr speaking at an event where all of the other scientists and doctors backed out of a debate about vaccines. I tuned in and watched this video a little over a year ago. I wept at RFK Jr's courage and compassion. And I followed up on many of his claims. Turns out what he says about the Gardasil studies are true. Watch here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/live/?v=2257902910924107&ref=watch_permalink Finally is this powerful video from Peter Aaby, who has first hand experience with vaccines administration in Africa. What he has to share is shocking, to say the least. What do you think? Have I created "reasonable doubt"? If not, what additional evidence do you need to support the right of an individual or parent to choose what goes into their or their children's bodies?
If you have been researching this important topic, please feel free to leave your favorite resources in the comments! Thank you for reading and sharing. Being an "anti-vaxxer" is a lot like being accused for a crime and then not being given a trial by your peers. The topic is so taboo that most people don't even attempt to talk about it. If one does try, there is usually a lot of resistance - most people feel that they would never change their mind and they want to avoid negative consequences of the conversation - usually the ending of a relationship. I'm reminded of this quote: “Being taught to avoid talking about politics and Because people are very determined not to change their minds, I decided a long time ago that cannot be my goal. Besides, who am I to tell someone their way is wrong? I really don't think that is my place. I always love talking to people who are curious about new things and find those are the most most productive conversations anyway. What I do consider absolutely non-negotiable is my right to decline a medical procedure for myself and my children. If people could truly "live and let live" I would not feel like I need to try and push this topic at all. Unfortunately, that right is increasingly being taken away from parents and all citizens - here in the United States and all over the world.
So you can see the predicament that I and many others find ourselves in. Criminals are not given the luxury of being left alone. Criminals deserve a punishment. Even though I truly believe I cannot change someone's mind - especially about such a controversial and charged topic - my family is being threatened and so I must try to defend us. Most people don't want to hear our arguments, aka give us a trial. They presume we are guilty no matter how little research they have done themselves. They trust the experts, the doctors and their life experience up until now. They believe that vaccines are safe and effective. And so, I think that my job is to create "reasonable doubt". Maybe others won't agree with our choice, but they will begin to see that there is more to the issue than they thought. Maybe then they can let go of their anger and being to feel a little curiosity instead. This is my goal. Please - at the very least - give us a fair trial. This post is for those who are feeling down and out, for those struggling with completing normal, everyday tasks. This is for anyone who feels sad, scared and generally hopeless about the state of the world. I am sending you love.
Every post I make here is a reminder to myself. When I write about "Rejecting Fear", "Facing Fears", and "Moving into Love", it is absolutely NOT because I have already achieved these things and put a check mark by them on my "to-do" list. In fact I have not completely achieved ANY of them. Each one is a process. Each day I have to face my fears anew. Each day I have to choose love when anger or hate vies for a place in my heart. 2019 was not the easiest year for me - psychologically or emotionally. If you saw me in person, it probably seemed like things were pretty great. Because they were! But most days there was a roller coaster of emotions going on inside of me. I wept, vented, read obsessively, neglected my kids and husband because other matters weighed on my heart and captured my attention. But I also chose them every day. Because I KNOW they are the most important thing in my life. This year had a rough start too. Flu, a cancer diagnosis, a global fear of illness... And yet, I am lighter. More grateful. More focused. How did I get here? Can I remain here? No, I know that I will not be here forever. Life is forever cycling. But I sure am enjoying this peaceful state! The gratitude, hope and lightness that fills me is such a welcome change. And I am proud of myself. For doing the work the past year to get here. Because I know that all of the ups and downs and tears were important. It was hard work and now I get to enjoy the fruits of my work. If you are struggling, know that you are not alone. Know that your struggle is important. Know that it is OK to feel whatever you are feeling - in fact it is CRUCIAL to let yourself feel it all so you can process and move through it. We get stuck when we bury, ignore, repress and compartmentalize. When we silence ourselves for fear of rejection we actually begin to rot and die slowly inside. I have been putting little reminders up around the house for myself to see - words of wisdom, pictures, my own artwork. I bought myself a bracelet after Christmas to remind myself this year to be present in the moment, to stop THINKING so much, and to take action when it's the right time and I am able. And slowly.... slowly.... the reminders seep into my consciousness. Slowly my heart rate slows, peace returns, I am able to focus again. The pace of life settles and everyone around me feels it too. I am grateful. ***Going to start right off with a disclaimer. This post is not to brag or to make others feel bad, although it may come off as doing both. Ideally it will make people think and even start some discussions! Why is this post "extremely biased"? Because it is based on my experiences and mine alone.*** I keep thinking about Health. What is health? What does a healthy person look like? How many people do you know that you consider "the epitome of health?" To me that would mean: no allergies - food or environmental, no digestive issues, no autoimmune issues, no problems functioning in their environment that require on-going medication. How many people do you know? Is that number becoming increasingly small? I think it is. Kids are increasingly medicated for ADHD. A large percentage of Adults are on medication for stress and anxiety. Seasonal allergy meds, epipens for peanut allergies, drugs for skin issues, digestive issues, headaches, arthritis, the list goes on. Check out this chart below, you can click on the image to open the website an the complete list. Right now in our family of 5 we have 0 prescriptions. Zero. That's not to say we are perfect. We've dealt with anxiety. Seasonal allergies in the past - check. Chronic sinus problems. Yep.
But if I look at our health (and I know that looking at my own and my loved ones health is biased, how could it not be?) I see some very interesting things.
So you tell me: Why on earth would we change what we're doing? In what universe is it logical or fair for us to be MANDATED to change what we're doing? Why would I start listening to the health advice of individuals and a large scale system in which most people do not have the level of health that we enjoy in our family? Everyone has to make choices. We are happy with ours. We are also happy to share with people! We want others to be happy and healthy too. My life is pretty great on a day to day basis. I have loving, supportive relationships. I get to spend lots of time with my children every day. I have a job that is fun and fits our life perfectly. But I have been grappling with a lot of fear this year. When you choose to stop vaccinating your family there are many things to fear. You fear losing friends and loved ones. One of my best friends in the world told me how angry they get when they think about this issue. This is not surprising. The (almost non-existent) dialog surrounding this topic is full of fear and anger. The person who inspired me to write this blog also later publicly stated his belief that parents who don't vaccinate should be jailed or die horrible deaths. This is actually quite a common sentiment, at least online. Do you agree with the statement below? If so, what is your justification? It's no wonder that people are scared to voice any concerns they have!
I fear the loss of my right to choose what is the right path for my family's health. Many states are taking away parents' rights. In June parents in New York State lost the right to use religious exemptions, therefore losing their right to attend public schools. Many (most?) people view this as a good thing. But do most people also know that NY Supreme Court Judge ruled that the Amish cannot have a religious vaccine exemption to attend their own private Amish school of 24 Amish children? Do most people know that New York is also discussing mandating flu and HPV vaccines? HPV is not a contagious disease. The flu vaccine is known not to be very effective. This is just one state! You can spend all day reading about what is going on around our country and the world. Where do the mandates stop? I fear our family will lose our income and insurance again if Mike ever lost his job over this issue. I fear we will have to move our family again, just as we are beginning to put down roots - especially if Virginia takes away religious exemptions. (In Virginia home-schoolers follow the same laws as public schools.) These are not irrational fears, they are very much based in reality of things that are happening around the country. Real people that I know - in REAL life - are dealing with this very issues. I have a friend that pulled her children out of school to home school. She also thinks about needing to uproot her family and move to another state. I have another friend that was repeatedly denied an exemption for the flu shot and came very close to handing in her resignation before they fired her. In the end her boss found a way for her to stay employed, but she was facing the very real possibility of loss of salary, insurance and other benefits for her family of four. Perhaps, you are thinking - "Well, at least you aren't fearing death." Because that is really want this comes down to, doesn't it? People who are for mandatory vaccination think that it is a justified practice because they are preventing the Worst Thing of All. But those of us who choose a different path have addressed the fear of death and we came out stronger for it. I have addressed that fear in myself. I addressed it by listening and learning from those who knew a lot more than me about the history of infectious illnesses and vaccines. I addressed it by observing what I see occurring in my life and in the world around me. Does this mean I don't get scared? That I'm not worried when my kids are sick? Of course not! It means that I take responsibility for our health the best that I can and that I realize I can't control everything. How many people vaccinate and then get sick anyway? How many people get sick and go to work anyway? How many people send sick children to school because they can't afford to keep their kids home? Should these all be punishable offenses? Are they not spreading as much or more illness than a family like ours? We stay home when we are sick much more often than the average American family. The problem with believing that mandatory vaccines are justified is you have to completely turn away from reality. You have to deny the thousands of people who say they were harmed by vaccines and/or have gotten healthier since they stopped. You have to believe in your right to impose your will and belief system onto someone else. Sounds pretty Un-American and very totalitarian. Do you think I'm crazy to be more fearful of that than I am of the measles? Well, I am. The irony? We are all going to die someday. So, the people who are trying to dictate how we all should live are fearing something that we cannot escape. They think that our fears of losing our health, homes, loved ones, jobs, insurance, education, ability to travel and move freely in the world are insignificant compared to what they fear. They think they have The Answer. And here is the crux of the issue. We are coming from completely different paradigms and belief systems. People who want everyone vaccinated believe the following: vaccines are "safe and effective", and reactions are "1 in a million", or "mild and rare". I don't believe any of those things anymore. If you want to know why, I am happy to discuss it with you! It is a long discussion, but I'm ready to have it! You can choose to ignore the information that is freely available to us all. But don't expect everyone to fall in line. It's only going to get uglier if more people don't start listening and speaking up. Does that scare me? Yes. But I cannot live every day in fear. I need to be here for my kids. I need to appreciate all that I have NOW. So I acknowledge it all. And then I try to make today a great day. I choose to believe that Mr. Rogers is right and that most of us are inherently good. I choose to hope that The Good will prevail in the end. And I'm going to take every scrap of hope and faith I have to power me forward and create a path that will empower me, my children and - in my the happiest of futures - my grandchildren too. My last post was about rejecting fear. Some may wonder what that means. Do I not feel fear?
The answer is: Of course I feel fear! I reject being controlled by fear. I choose to face my fear. I choose to be curious about what I fear. I actively engage with my fear and try to understand it so that I can move past my fear. I am no stranger to making "different" choices. But believe it or not I was pretty mainstream until young adulthood . I went to college. I got my degree. I got a job and then I got married. Then I got pregnant. My mom said - "You're not going to try and do the natural thing are you??" Why did she ask me that? I like to think that she knows me better than I know myself! I'm glad she did ask me though, maybe she planted a seed. A very valuable and fertile seed. I went to the library and I read lots of books. You know what women LOVED giving birth? The people who had natural births! They were excited and felt a lot of joy and empowerment from their births. Is this ALWAYS the case? Of course not! Some women have natural births and feel traumatized by them. But the overall trend that I observed is this: women who feel empowered by knowledge and supported to make the choices best for them and their babies, feel more satisfied with their births. My decisions to have natural childbirths, to give birth in a hospital, then a birth center, and finally at home were driven by love of birth - never fear. Our decision to home school was similarly driven. Was I driven away from school by fear? No! In fact I was a total nerd and loved school. What I found, again, is that the people sharing about Unschooling were passionately in love with their lives! I wanted that. Again, I was motivated by love and felt empowered to make that decision. When I chose to co-sleep with my children, breastfeed them for years, parent them without punishment, try putting my babies on a potty... all of these things were motivated by love. What is amazing is that many of these things are looked down upon in our society. Breastfeeding "older" children has been called child abuse. Unschooling? Also child abuse. Parenting without punishment? Irresponsible. Babies on potties? Crazy! The one choice that was the most difficult for me to make from a place of love and empowerment was the choice about vaccination. I was paralyzed with fear - fear of either choice. There is so much fear surrounding this issue that it is almost impossible to avoid. Slowly I learned. I learned about the diseases we vaccinate for and how we can protect ourselves from them. I learned about the history of the diseases and the vaccines that have been developed. I learned about laws that have been passed and I learned what happens to families when vaccines harm them. I learned ways that we can live that proactively promote health. Slowly I became empowered and less fearful. But Fear still dominates the public discussion. And although I am no longer fearful of not vaccinating, I *am* fearful of being open about that choice. We must move beyond fear. It is good to be passionate about things. But passion, fear, and anger are so closely intertwined. When we are passionate, we are convinced of our "rightness". Then we get angry when other people don't understand our passion. Passion often gets the most attention. People either respond with a "Hell yeah!" or a "Get the you-know-what outta here!" It's easy to post controversial things in a "fighting" way and get attention. But will it help us grow and change? I have noticed over the years how little response I get when I share all of these controversial topics. I believe it's because I always try to share in Love. People don't know what to do with that! I really want to engage with people about vaccines. I want to engage in a respectful and open way though. We need to bring all of our fears into the light. No more hiding them away, letting them fester and grow. Let's grow together and learn from each other. I reject the World of Fear. I reject the World where Sick is Normal. I reject the World of Fear where so many voices are ignored. I reject the World where Experts Rule and Instincts are Ridiculed.
I reject the World of Fear. I reject living as a passenger... a peasant - passive and submissive. I reject the World of Fear. I reject living as if I have no choice, no power, no say over what happens to me. I reject that YOU must accept the World of Fear. I want you to come with me. I welcome you to join me, even for a little while. But I know that I can't make you. I want you to see what I see. But I know I can't make you look. I want you to hear the things I hear. But I know I can't make you listen. I want you to feel the Freedom, Love, and Connection that I have experienced. The exhilaration that comes with Letting Go. The thrill of observing life unfold in ways you never imagined... and knowing it is exactly as it should be. I reject the World of Fear that says we must fight each other. I reject the World of Fear that says one of us is "Right" and therefore the other is "All Wrong". I will not try to force you to live my way. But I will not submit to your way because you will not listen, be curious or try to learn about mine. My way is working really well for me and my loved ones. We are healthy, strong, happy and thriving. I will not let you take that from me. I reject the World of Fear. I Welcome Change. I trust that I will find my way with those that I love. I welcome Hope, Peace, and Open communication into my life. I welcome new friends, new love, new paths that I do not even know exist. I hope to see you there. There is no doubt, the word "obsession" has a negative connotation for most. Even the dictionaries put a negative spin on it. Perhaps because of the way I've been retraining my mind to think and look at the world for such a long time, I prefer a more objective definition:
obsession [ uh b-sesh-uh n ]SHOW IPA noun the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc. 2019 has not been the easiest year for me. Mostly because I was quite obsessed with what was going on around the country with respect to vaccines and medical freedom. It's not the first time I've dove into the topic, reading day after day, article after article, comment section after comment section. (Noooooo!!!! stay away!!) Always I tried to research claims on both sides of the issue - searching the CDC website, vaccine inserts, VAERS, watching countless videos. It was consuming and exhausting. But I don't regret it. I did the same thing with Unschooling. There were years of reading endlessly. Then I would stop for a while and when some doubt or question came up, I would dive back in again. Mike would say - stop reading that! You know it already! ha! But that was just it - I didn't know it to my core... YET. I've followed so many amazing people over the years: Bloggers, homeschoolers - especially unschoolers, people in various health ventures etc. Many times they stop posting, writing and sharing after a while. I remember when one of my favorite bloggers stopped writing on her blog - I was so sad! I needed more! But after a while I understood. She didn't need to anymore. Obsessions aren't a bad thing. Unschooling has taught me this. Obsession is a strong interest in something - maybe better words to use are passion, attraction, enthusiasm. When we try to suppress our obsessions, they don't disappear and there is a good chance they will become stronger. What if we let them run their course? I've found for myself that when I do, they fade in their own time and I can move on. Of course, letting something dominate our life to the point of neglecting ourselves and others is something we try to avoid. But who gets to decide what level of interest and involvement is healthy? I love this quote by J.K. Rowling: "Everything was just very very dilapidated and always filthy which wasn’t the flat’s fault — it was normally my fault because people very often say to me, “How did you do it? How did you raise a baby and write a book?” and the answer is, I didn’t do housework for four years! I’m not Superwoman, and living in squalor that was the answer." Click here for another page with quotes from here where she repeatedly calls writing a compulsion. I refuse to feel guilty about feeling compelled to do something that was really important to me. Also, I always had in the front of my mind that I needed to maintain some sort of balance - and I always knew that my family was the most important thing. I have to throw one more JK Rowling quote in here: “My youngest child asked me the other day, ‘Mummy, if you had to choose between us and writing, what would you choose?’ And I said, ‘Well I would choose you but I would be very, very grumpy.” Exactly. Maybe we don't need to choose. Or maybe things actually go in cycles. Maybe when we honor ourselves and others, and our interests and others' interests things will work out in the very best way that they possibly can. Remember: Life is Lumpy. Or a Sine Wave - feel free to choose which analogy works for you. So what was the purpose of an obsession, if eventually it wanes? Well, I guess there may be many . For me and the obsessions I referenced here, it served me to dig in a really examine the choices I am making in my life. When you choose to do things differently from the majority of people, it helps to feel really confident and good about those choices. And so I dive in, again and again. And each time I come out stronger and more focused... on what's really important. |
Susan MayWife, mom, information and peace seeker. Categories
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