I have a question that keeps popping up in my mind lately, and that is, "why?" Why am I drawn to blogging right now, to writing, to sharing? I wrote recently that I am a recovering Feedback Junkie, but I can tell that writing here is so much more than seeking any feedback or validation. If it were about getting comments about how awesome I am/my writing is I certainly wouldn't keep at it because they aren't pouring in! And I am glad that it's more than that. (I have to stop now and thank all you friends who *are* encouraging me. It means a lot and does give me that extra kick to keep at it!)
But as I continue to write I see that I am really creating this space for myself. And that feels pretty awesome. I love my weebly place (haha, I like that - "weebly place"). And when I re-read some of my thoughts I am content. It's pretty cool to have a place to record my thoughts and feelings and be able to look back on my own "evolution". It's good to be thoughtful about my words knowing that others can read them - that someday my kids may even read them if they are interested.
There are so many amazing writers and blogs out there. My current favorite read is here: Momastery. Yes, it is the same blog that I responded to saying how the message didn't really resonate with me. Ironic, I know. Even more ironic is that particular post went viral and "put her on the map" so to speak. I could write a whole post outlining and responding to all the great stuff she has written. But one thing that jumped out at me the other night was something she said about writing. She compared reading and writing to Inhaling and Exhaling. This clicked for me on a few levels (making it a loud, echo-y click). First I've really been thinking, or more accurately focusing, on my breath lately. It helps so much with being present and is a huge part of hypnosis, meditation, yoga etc. But it was really the analogy to reading and writing that hit me hard. I've always thought of myself as a "reader" and NOT a "writer". Since I was a little kid I've had my nose in a book. Wherever I went I had a book - with my mom to teacher's get-togethers, in school, to family parties, you name it. I get so engrossed in what I'm reading that I don't hear anything or anyone around me (ask my husband, it drives him crazy!) Needless to say, I LOVE to read. As I got older I got away from reading fiction and for pleasure. There just wasn't really enough time for it. But after college I got back into it. Since becoming a mother I still read more non-fiction than anything, including blogs/articles online, but it is my choice what I read.
I was a good writer in school. But I never really enjoyed it that much and just did it because I had to. The only writing I've done that hasn't been required of me is journaling on and off since college. Oh and sporadic blogging. Usually I journal more in times of depression or intense emotion (like right after the births of my children) and I don't keep it up for long. Same with the blogging.
So when Glennon compared reading to inhaling and writing to exhaling it just made so much sense to me. For about four years now I've been reading and reading (and then reading some more!) about parenting, Unschooling, and general life philosophy stuff to the point that I think I was going to burst. It's like I'm finally letting out a huge sigh of relief. My mom has been a consistent haven for me to express myself. But there is something more dangerous yet satisfying about putting your words into writing. And this time it feels different. It feels sustainable, like I want to keep going and that the ideas will keep flowing. I guess only time will tell.
And of course I am still reading! There are so many inspirational people out there that I am finding. And it is definitely like inhaling and exhaling. I read and it spurs new ideas, new thoughts, it is *inspiring*. And I want to share and it is like exhaling.
Here is an example of the inspiration out there I have found.
So who do I think I am to be writing when there is already so much inspiration and good writing out there? Well, I am me and I have my own message! I love this video that the awesome Tara Wagner made.
Let it out people. We only have this one life to live.
Wife, mom, information and peace seeker.