Living in the gray

There is Black & White:
We are born.... and then one day, we die.

But in between, we are all Living in the Gray.

Living in the Gray means:

Grief and Gratitude will always coexist.

It means loving my son - as he is - with all my heart, feeling complete joy when he stares into my eyes laughing, feeling grateful for how his journey deepens mine... AND grieving an easier path for him, remembering his very "normal" baby years and accepting that something changed - something I was unable to stop.

It means freshly laundered sheets, dried in the sun, sweet smelling from the Spring Breeze... but sometimes a bird poops on them.

It means accepting human imperfection, ​letting go and forgiving... especially forgiving ourselves when we feel unable to let go and forgive.

It means knowing the most fulfilling way forward is through clear eyes and open hearts - hearts opened by breaking - AND also knowing that there are times when it is best to protect our hearts so they can remain soft.

It means knowing my way isn't everyone's way, and that is A-OK.

It means knowing when to STAND UP and knowing when the best thing I can do is stare at the leaves blowing in the breeze.

Living in the Gray feels like... a much lighter heart, a less cluttered mind, and fresh eyes that see the world's bright colors anew. And it also feels like a heavy heart, a tired mind and tear-filled, blurry eyes.

Living in the Gray is NOT wishy-washy, cowardly or a cop-out.

It's Living.