Human Beings: Memory and Mindfullness

This post is about pictures. Taking them. Looking at them. Loving them.

It's also about Being. Being in the moment with the people you love.

And it's about remembering the moments with those people you love. And how those things go together - being and remembering.

After Marisol was born I remember being sad that it would all go by so fast and I wouldn't be able to remember it all. I actually remember telling my sister this and her tearing up for me (my sister is the best!). I thought it was funny that my "baby blues" were about how happy I was and not wanting to forget. I wanted time to stop.

Funny now how clearly I remember that. I've been thinking a lot about memory lately. And the truth is, most of my clearest memories are the ones about sad, distressing, or stressful, moments. (And believe me, my life has not been that sad or distressing, these are just regular disappointments). But my point is, *those* memories are the ones that are the most vivid. My happiest times are not that vivid. They are more like a hazy glow. There is a biological reason for this I believe. Something to do with adrenaline and emotion and what hormones and chemicals are are released in our brains. 

So anyways. What does this have to do with pictures? Well I love them. And I love to take them. So we have hundreds or thousands of pictures that we have taken - especially since Marisol was born 5 1/2 years ago. For a long time I think I was trying to record every moment just so I could hold onto the moment and not forget. 

Now my perspective is changing. One of my favorite things is to sit and watch our computer screen saver which we have set to a random slide show. It is so fun. And wonderful. I love it. I love reflecting. I remember a lot of the pictures. But I've also realized that there are a LOT that I barely remember AT ALL until I see them! It's kind of crazy. But I guess not that surprising - I mean how much can our brains hold?

I'm realizing more and more how true it is that all we have is the present moment. The past is gone and we can have no idea what the future holds. So the present is *where it's at*. In my meditation today the woman said, we are Human *beings* not Human *doings*. I like that. She was talking about being in the present moment. It is so *freeing*.

Pictures drive my husband crazy (more acurately, taking pictures), my kids like to pose and other times they just want me to STOP! I can either try to record every moment *or* I can put the camera down and enjoy the moment. Because the *truth* is that I am not going to remember most of the moments. But if I choose to enjoy each moment as it happens I don't need to remember them all, because I will know that I soaked it all up as it happened. 

p.s.This does not mean that I'm going to stop taking or loving pictures. It does mean that I will make mindful choices about whether the time is right to take a picture, or if it is worth trying to capture the moment when the camera might actually ruin the moment! It means listening to the people I love, realizing that I will not remember every beautiful moment, that I'm lucky there are so many beautiful moments, and it's all ok!