June 5th is my birthday. This is the quote from that day and I found it perfect. I would say that the past year was defined in large part by losing two of my best friends. One to death and one who chose to end our relationship. I have been talking and writing about it a lot - that's because it is something that I think about a lot. It is the work I am doing.
The great news is that I am making progress! How do I know? I'm thinking about it less. My energy is moving again and I am feeling more positive about life generally, and about my (ex)friend more specifically. The gratitude I feel is growing - for the lessons I learned from going through this and also for the friendship that I had for over a decade of my life.
I found this quote to be perfect on my birthday. For a long time last year I compartmentalized the hurt and pain of losing an important relationship. That was actually appropriate for a while - I wasn't sure if the loss was permanent and so I patiently waited. As it became clearer that this friend was truly ending our relationship, I had to go deeper in processing that information. It wasn't a simple thing; letting go rarely is. I had to let myself be angry and hurt. I had to let myself be a little obsessive - even if that felt immature and unproductive. I had to talk about it to people that love and support me. I had to write down what I was feeling - Why was I angry and hurt? I wrote about why it sucked and wasn't fair and all the things that I wanted to tell that person, but couldn't.
And now? Well, I can say I am closer to forgiving. It is a process. But I know that the work is paying off because I am facing forward and moving again. My birthday was awesome! I have always been good about celebrating with the people that are willing and able to be with me at any given time - Love What Is. Forgiving is part of being able to do just that.
Have you had to let go of relationships recently? What helps you forgive and move on?