I have a book of daily inspiring quotes that I look at frequently. My friend who died in January gave it to me last year. It was a huge blessing in my life as I worked my way through it. These quotes helped me keep perspective through a very challenging period of time. And now as I read may way through it for a second time, it brings me comfort. I feel my friend's presence and love the wisdom that she left for me to learn and relearn.
June 5th is my birthday. This is the quote from that day and I found it perfect. I would say that the past year was defined in large part by losing two of my best friends. One to death and one who chose to end our relationship. I have been talking and writing about it a lot - that's because it is something that I think about a lot. It is the work I am doing.
The great news is that I am making progress! How do I know? I'm thinking about it less. My energy is moving again and I am feeling more positive about life generally, and about my (ex)friend more specifically. The gratitude I feel is growing - for the lessons I learned from going through this and also for the friendship that I had for over a decade of my life.
I found this quote to be perfect on my birthday. For a long time last year I compartmentalized the hurt and pain of losing an important relationship. That was actually appropriate for a while - I wasn't sure if the loss was permanent and so I patiently waited. As it became clearer that this friend was truly ending our relationship, I had to go deeper in processing that information. It wasn't a simple thing; letting go rarely is. I had to let myself be angry and hurt. I had to let myself be a little obsessive - even if that felt immature and unproductive. I had to talk about it to people that love and support me. I had to write down what I was feeling - Why was I angry and hurt? I wrote about why it sucked and wasn't fair and all the things that I wanted to tell that person, but couldn't.
And now? Well, I can say I am closer to forgiving. It is a process. But I know that the work is paying off because I am facing forward and moving again. My birthday was awesome! I have always been good about celebrating with the people that are willing and able to be with me at any given time - Love What Is. Forgiving is part of being able to do just that.
Have you had to let go of relationships recently? What helps you forgive and move on?
Wife, mom, information and peace seeker.