The past two years I've been a bit more chill. I've picked words and reflected on things but I'm not all, "ON FIRE!" This year I have a couple of things in mind to guide me into 2015.
The word that I've chosen (or more accurately, the word that has chosen me...) is Breathe. I'm focusing on my breath this year. Every day. And especially in the harder moments. Just breathing. And being. And waiting. Knowing that each moment will always pass and new ones will come.
I have been getting newsletters from Parallax Press since I downloaded a free book from Thich Nhat Hanh and here is a bit from it that includes a quote from him:
“There can’t be a new year if there isn’t also a new you.” If we do not have the intention to water the seeds of transformation within us, he elaborated, the so-called new year will continue to be very much like the old, not only for us, but also the world.
But although I believe we need change I also believe we need to be patient and loving with ourselves and others always. I've seen how change in myself doesn't often happen overnight but instead over long stretches of time. So I'm not focusing on huge, grand, sweeping change - I'm focusing on taking Baby Steps.
Finally, while I was walking Yoshi right around the New Year I was thinking about resolutions and how I don't really like the idea of them. But one resolution jumped into my head and that was: I resolve not to get depressed this winter. I've noticed the past few years that I often get in the rut after the holidays, and even when I know it's happening it's still difficult to get out of. I told my mom that I was optimistic about being able to keep this resolution; but, within 48 hours of making it, I was challenged. (Isn't that the way of it?? I think this is why resolutions seem to futile sometimes! But then again, perhaps that is also the point. If it was easy, we wouldn't need to make the resolution in the first place.) I've felt quite angry and sad already this year. But my resolution is helping. I'm making choices that are keeping me focused on what is important and I'm not staying down long.
So far the biggest change I've made is taking a break from a Facebook. It's been a week and I can honestly say it has been wonderful. In a way I did it "cold turkey" - but in a way I had been building up to it (Baby steps!) by taking small breaks and posting/scrolling less. I feel more engaged with my family, more energized to take on more throughout the day, and effective at making change in myself and around me.
I have a lot more time to fill now that I'm not on Facebook. So I've decided to learn to play guitar again. (Actually this is one reason I decided to take a break - I've been thinking about doing this for a while, but just wasn't DOING it. I needed to clear out some time.) I started once before Marisol was born, but then got sidetracked. So far my strategy is to watch some Youtube videos, pick out some tunes - which is fun and helping me build up some calluses on my fingers, and practice a bit each day. My goal is to be able to play some of my favorite songs so I can sing along.
Here are some videos of my baby steps in learning guitar for your viewing pleasure.