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"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates  Gerry in his night-time diaper. Yes you can see his shorts peeking out UNDERNEATH the diaper! A Friend's Facebook Status One Time Long Ago: Remind me that the next time I put a diaper on (my baby) before sleeping with him in one bed in a hotel room I MUST remember to make sure his penis is inside the diaper. I don't really have many pet peeves. There just isn't a lot that annoys me - especially little things that people do. I don't feel like it's worth the effort or time to get upset over things like people talking with food in their mouths or forgetting to introduce me to their spouse. But recently I've discovered a chink in my pet peeve armor. I really can't stand it when people say things or do things without thinking about them. Statements like, "well everyone's doing such and such these days," or "That's just how it's done now" are the epitome of unexamined thoughts and actions. And if these statements are made in regards to children then my tail feathers REALLY get ruffled. *Thinking* is essential when we are making decisions regarding our children. Not reacting or doing what our neighbor does or what our own mother did with us. Examining our intentions, our hopes, our children's needs and connecting with our own internal compass to guide our decisions is one way to mindful choices.
Perfection is not the point. Of course none of us are perfect. The point is being aware and actively try to make choices from a place of love and awareness. This to me is one of the great aspects of choosing to parent without punishments or rewards. It forces you to be creative, brainstorm, and come up with new ways of doing things. You are more likely to have discussions and problem solve when you are in the mode of being your child's partner. The same friend who posted the humorous status above has had to be creative recently with her older son and his bathroom/sleep needs. Last summer after he turned 5 he started having accidents in his bed at night. He had been fully potty trained and dry through the nights for quite some time. So now, before going to bed herself, my friend carries her son to the bathroom (he's usually been asleep for a few hours by this time) and has him pee. She then guides him back to bed - he actually walks himself and never fully wakes up! I asked her if she was nervous the first time she tried this and she said yes. I mean, no one wants to wake up their sleeping child! But it works for them, and I love her for creatively and lovingly meeting his need. My own son Gerry has been fully potty trained during the day since he was 2 1/2 - I remember because the exact day that marked his 2 1/2 year birthday he did his first successful outing without diapers. Nighttime is still a work in progress - he is probably dry 90% or more of the time. But the kid does not want to put a diaper on! No way, no how - he is DONE. D - U -N So for the last several months we usually put a diaper - disposable or cloth - on him after he fell asleep (unless we were feeling daring and just decided to risk it!) Usually it was no big deal - especially if I did it right after he fell asleep and he was in a deep sleep. Sometimes it was a pain when he stayed up late and I was exhausted. Pulling his shorts down was always a bit risky as as "wake up" factor. Luckily he easily goes back to sleep by nursing. And it was worth leaving his dignity intact. Our newest solution is to put a cloth diaper right over his shorts (see photo above). It's working well! Since we started doing that consistently he's been dry every morning! Go figure. My point in sharing these two stories (both about sleep and potty) is that there are often solutions to situations that are not immediately obvious or the "norm". By being creative and flexible we are modeling not only those attributes, but also showing our children that we are ready to support them the best we can. No, we are not perfect and do not have all the answers but we are their partners. Also we can try things and see if they work - if they don't, try something else! Fear often stops us from even trying. Fear of what others think, fear of being "weird", or just plain fear of waking your sleeping child! I'd love to hear some times when you've been able to "Think Outside the Diaper" - whether you are a parent or not! Creative problem solving feels GOOD - share some of your brilliant moments! You may inspire someone else... And I'll leave you with some more Wubbzy Wisdom, my Happy and Deep Mascot ;-) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ By The Book Lyrics: Bob Boyle / Music: b. Mossman It's good to do things the proper way But if it goes wrong that's okay If it's not right, don't be uptight It doesn't have to be by the book By the book...By the book It doesn't have to be by the book If you're out to have some fun but you find there is no sun It's okay, enjoy the day Even if it's not by the book If you want to play a game but the pieces aren't the same There's a way for you to play Even if it's not be by the book By the book...By the book It doesn't have to be by the book If the recipe calls for Doodleberry Jam...Doodleberry Jam! But all you have is Polka-Dot Ham...Polka-Dot Ham! It's not a waste Enjoy the taste Cuz it doesn't have to be by the book When you're building something cool but you don't have the right tool It is fine to re-design It doesn't have to be by the book If you have a fancy hat but you find it's rather flat Don't be blue, try something new It doesn't have to be by the book By the book...By the book It doesn't have to be by the book It's good to do things the proper way But if it goes wrong that's okay If it's not right, don't be uptight It doesn't have to be by the book
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I love that it is 1:30 am and I can't sleep. I love that I was hungry so I got up and ate pancakes with butter and syrup and drank milk. I love that my daughter is my teacher even though everyone thinks that I am hers. I love butter. I love food. I love hearing my son's laugh everyday and watching his whole face light up with joy. I love that I will probably be tired tomorrow and maybe even grumpy, but that I've noticed I am less grumpy since I've started writing. I love that now when I can't sleep I try doing different things. I love sunny, breezy days. I love seeing friends and impromptu play-dates. I love going for a walk with a neighborhood friend and her dog. I love syrup. I love knowing that even when things are really hard, they will get better. I love that when I feel alone, there will be a time in the near future when I won't. I love to say the word FUCK in my head - still not out loud, but it's fun to write too! I love people who curse and OWN IT. I love people who never swear and don't need to. I love learning every day. I love trying new things and going to new places. I love carbs. I love giving birth. I love helping other people prepare to give birth. I love that my kids like watching birth videos. I love that Gerry has put baby dolls through a model pelvis. I love the cherry blossoms in the spring. I love Christmas carols. I love Wubbzy songs....  Treasure from recent Treasure Hunt - oh yeah, I love Sangria too! Treasure
Lyrics: Bob Boyle / Music: b. Mossman Life is filled with treasure For everyone to see Having fun with every day That’s the way to beThere’s no map to show the way Find the treasure in every day There’s no X to mark the spot Find the treasure in what you’ve got Yes! Life is filled with treasure It’s everywhere you look It’s in a piece of chalk And it’s in a comic book Ah! Life it filled with treasure Just listen and you’ll hear A happy singing bird Or your friend approaching near Yo-ho ho The treasure has been found Now that we know: There’s treasure all around! Life is filled with treasure There’s no need to dig It doesn’t have to be of gold It doesn’t have to be so big Oh! Life is filled with treasure It’s not hard to find Plants everywhere Animals of every kind You can find it under a rock Or in a dirty sock It might be a piece of string ‘cause there’s treasure in everything Oh! Life is filled with treasure And the treasure never ends You can feel it in your heart And share it with your friends Yes! Life is filled with treasure Life is filled with treasure Life is filled with treasure!  Wubbzy... Happy and Deep, all at the same time. The things that you learn as a parent... There is seriously a Wow Wow Wubbzy song for every occasion. I kid you not. I know because I hear these songs every day -Gerry LOVES him some Wubbzy. It was hard to choose which song to share for my first ever Wubbzy Wisdom post. I finally settled on "Love Is All Around." It seemed appropriately happy and deep. I was doing a writing exercise tonight that I found on another blog that asked me to choose three words to describe myself. It is difficult to choose only three! I had chosen Thoughtful, Fun, and Open, but now as I write this, "Happy and Deep" those two words seem pretty good too. This blog seems kinda heavy sometimes, but my real life is anything but. It is fun! I am fun, goshdarnit! Every day I get to play and laugh and grow and I feel so grateful for this life. I have a lot going on in the next several weeks. June 1st (this Friday!) marks the start of The Invincible Summer writing e-course and The Self Love Revolution (It's free, check it out!) Next week I celebrate my 34th birthday and I seriously believe some awesome stuff is in store for me in my 35th year. It's hard to believe that we are almost half-way through another calendar year. But 2012 has already been amazing and I only expect it to get better. So I am unofficially and publicly releasing myself of my two posts per week goal. It was a great way to get me writing and it served it's purpose, but with all this Self-Love and other commitments (my next Hypnobabies class is also starting in less than 3 weeks) I need to let some things go. Who knows, maybe I'll write more here or maybe I'm going to take a little break, I'm not sure. I've been really following my heart and writing when the urge strikes. The past week I've had little desire to write which is strange after months of basically being ON FIRE for writing. But we've been busy and I've been content. Busy and content is not the best recipe for writing inspiration. So enjoy this tidbit of Wubbzy Wisdom. In light of the upcoming Self Love Revolution this last verse seemed especially appropriate, "If you want to find some love, Here’s the place to start, Look into the mirror, It’s right there in your heart." Rest assured - there will be future Wubbzy posts for your enjoyment. Because Wubbzy is happy... and deep... and I like that. Love Is All Around
Lyrics: Bob Boyle / Music: b. Mossman You are loved We all care There is love, love, love everywhere! And, Love is all around Love is all around Love is all around Love, love, love It’s all around It’s in the sky It’s on the ground Love, love, love It’s everywhere It’s in a flower It’s in your hair Love is in the people you meet Love is in the food you eat Love is in a game you play And love is in a word you say And, Love is all around Love is all around Love is all around Love, love, love It’s in everything It’s in a book Or a song you sing Love, love, love It’s everyday Summer or winter September or May If you want to find some love Here’s the place to start Look into the mirror It’s right there in your heart And, Love is all around (Love is all around) Love is all around (Love is all around) Love is all around (Love is all around) Love, love, love It’s all around |
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