There is no shortage of material or thoughts on things I'd like to write about. But there has been a different feeling inside of me. June was busy here on the blog - I took part on my first Affiliate Sale - and it was a lot of fun! I also took an amazing, free teleconference series about writing a book. Then July rolled around and I started a new Hypnobabies series and I just felt... different. Calmer. Almost depressed - but I wasn't. I mean, I kind of felt a little numb and tired but it was different than the lethargy and apathy I've normally associated with feeling depressed.
Actually, I wasn't apathetic at all. I continued to do more around here - trying to cook more foods, read more with the kids, play games etc. When we were around friends I came alive and felt great. So I *knew* it wasn't depression.
I pulled back from writing and from the internet - and it felt right. I've been more focused on finding ways to work moving my body back into the fabric of my life. And I wonder if maybe I can only focus on one thing at a time. For so long it has been writing - and I was falling short on the exercise end of things. Now food and exercise are seeming to take a front seat. But this strange, new, calmness - it is definitely something more.
And I'm reminded that all things in life move in cycles... like a Sine wave (not a Sin wave! ha), the seasons, relationships, activity, growth - it all rises and falls. Sometimes we seem to be "progressing" at a steady rate and then things flatten out, or even fall off. Sometimes we move in fits and bursts. And all of that is ok - it's part the natural flow of life.
I've been examining my desires and goals. What is the purpose of writing here? Why am I doing it? What are my motives? How does it affect my family and loved ones and what is fair to them?
So I've been contracting and turning inwards - some introspection, some reading, lots of connecting with my family. And it feels wonderful. And I know that soon I will be expanding outwards again, burning again and sharing my fire with the world!