My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome
I was listening to one of my meditations from the Chopra center today and the mantra and its meaning for this particular one was: Om Anandham Namah: My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome.
This is what it means to be committed to Peaceful Parenting. It is NOT about the outcome or about trying to ensure that our children "turn out" a certain way. It *is* about choosing our actions due to our conviction that they are based purely in our truths and values, our core and best possible selves. So we act in accordance with our internal GPS and then we let go of any ideas we may have about what exactly our external world "should" reflect back to us. (e.g. Releasing beliefs like, "I'm kind and gentle to my child so they should act only in acceptable ways towards me")
That's what I mean when I say my parenting is about me, not my kids. Because ultimately we don't have control over our kids.
This is not easy to do. And I'm still not there 100%, all the time (probably never will be). But it is the way to internal peace, and so I keep choosing this way - as often as I can.
The amazing thing is that when I consistently choose compassion and kindness I *do* see my children mirror these things back to me. So in a way I *am* getting the "outcome" I desire. But what about the times when they aren't? Because they *are* human and imperfect and... children. Well, then I get to choose compassion and kindness AGAIN because that is the person I want to be.
It's really that simple.