"The unexamined life is not worth living"
Socrates
Socrates
Gerry in his night-time diaper. Yes you can see his shorts peeking out UNDERNEATH the diaper!
A Friend's Facebook Status
One Time Long Ago:
Remind me that the next time I put a diaper on (my baby) before sleeping with him in one bed in a hotel room I MUST remember to make sure his penis is inside the diaper.
I don't really have many pet peeves. There just isn't a lot that annoys me - especially little things that people do. I don't feel like it's worth the effort or time to get upset over things like people talking with food in their mouths or forgetting to introduce me to their spouse. But recently I've discovered a chink in my pet peeve armor. I really can't stand it when people say things or do things without thinking about them. Statements like, "well everyone's doing such and such these days," or "That's just how it's done now" are the epitome of unexamined thoughts and actions. And if these statements are made in regards to children then my tail feathers REALLY get ruffled. *Thinking* is essential when we are making decisions regarding our children. Not reacting or doing what our neighbor does or what our own mother did with us. Examining our intentions, our hopes, our children's needs and connecting with our own internal compass to guide our decisions is one way to mindful choices.
Perfection is not the point. Of course none of us are perfect. The point is being aware and actively try to make choices from a place of love and awareness.
This to me is one of the great aspects of choosing to parent without punishments or rewards. It forces you to be creative, brainstorm, and come up with new ways of doing things. You are more likely to have discussions and problem solve when you are in the mode of being your child's partner.
The same friend who posted the humorous status above has had to be creative recently with her older son and his bathroom/sleep needs. Last summer after he turned 5 he started having accidents in his bed at night. He had been fully potty trained and dry through the nights for quite some time. So now, before going to bed herself, my friend carries her son to the bathroom (he's usually been asleep for a few hours by this time) and has him pee. She then guides him back to bed - he actually walks himself and never fully wakes up! I asked her if she was nervous the first time she tried this and she said yes. I mean, no one wants to wake up their sleeping child! But it works for them, and I love her for creatively and lovingly meeting his need.
My own son Gerry has been fully potty trained during the day since he was 2 1/2 - I remember because the exact day that marked his 2 1/2 year birthday he did his first successful outing without diapers. Nighttime is still a work in progress - he is probably dry 90% or more of the time. But the kid does not want to put a diaper on! No way, no how - he is DONE.
D - U -N
So for the last several months we usually put a diaper - disposable or cloth - on him after he fell asleep (unless we were feeling daring and just decided to risk it!) Usually it was no big deal - especially if I did it right after he fell asleep and he was in a deep sleep. Sometimes it was a pain when he stayed up late and I was exhausted. Pulling his shorts down was always a bit risky as as "wake up" factor. Luckily he easily goes back to sleep by nursing. And it was worth leaving his dignity intact.
Our newest solution is to put a cloth diaper right over his shorts (see photo above). It's working well! Since we started doing that consistently he's been dry every morning! Go figure.
My point in sharing these two stories (both about sleep and potty) is that there are often solutions to situations that are not immediately obvious or the "norm". By being creative and flexible we are modeling not only those attributes, but also showing our children that we are ready to support them the best we can. No, we are not perfect and do not have all the answers but we are their partners. Also we can try things and see if they work - if they don't, try something else! Fear often stops us from even trying. Fear of what others think, fear of being "weird", or just plain fear of waking your sleeping child!
I'd love to hear some times when you've been able to "Think Outside the Diaper" - whether you are a parent or not! Creative problem solving feels GOOD - share some of your brilliant moments! You may inspire someone else...
And I'll leave you with some more Wubbzy Wisdom, my Happy and Deep Mascot ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By The Book
Lyrics: Bob Boyle / Music: b. Mossman
It's good to do things the proper way
But if it goes wrong that's okay
If it's not right, don't be uptight
It doesn't have to be by the book
By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book
If you're out to have some fun but you find there is no sun
It's okay, enjoy the day
Even if it's not by the book
If you want to play a game but the pieces aren't the same
There's a way for you to play
Even if it's not be by the book
By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book
If the recipe calls for Doodleberry Jam...Doodleberry Jam!
But all you have is Polka-Dot Ham...Polka-Dot Ham!
It's not a waste
Enjoy the taste
Cuz it doesn't have to be by the book
When you're building something cool but you don't have the right tool
It is fine to re-design
It doesn't have to be by the book
If you have a fancy hat but you find it's rather flat
Don't be blue, try something new
It doesn't have to be by the book
By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book
It's good to do things the proper way
But if it goes wrong that's okay
If it's not right, don't be uptight
It doesn't have to be by the book
Perfection is not the point. Of course none of us are perfect. The point is being aware and actively try to make choices from a place of love and awareness.
This to me is one of the great aspects of choosing to parent without punishments or rewards. It forces you to be creative, brainstorm, and come up with new ways of doing things. You are more likely to have discussions and problem solve when you are in the mode of being your child's partner.
The same friend who posted the humorous status above has had to be creative recently with her older son and his bathroom/sleep needs. Last summer after he turned 5 he started having accidents in his bed at night. He had been fully potty trained and dry through the nights for quite some time. So now, before going to bed herself, my friend carries her son to the bathroom (he's usually been asleep for a few hours by this time) and has him pee. She then guides him back to bed - he actually walks himself and never fully wakes up! I asked her if she was nervous the first time she tried this and she said yes. I mean, no one wants to wake up their sleeping child! But it works for them, and I love her for creatively and lovingly meeting his need.
My own son Gerry has been fully potty trained during the day since he was 2 1/2 - I remember because the exact day that marked his 2 1/2 year birthday he did his first successful outing without diapers. Nighttime is still a work in progress - he is probably dry 90% or more of the time. But the kid does not want to put a diaper on! No way, no how - he is DONE.
D - U -N
So for the last several months we usually put a diaper - disposable or cloth - on him after he fell asleep (unless we were feeling daring and just decided to risk it!) Usually it was no big deal - especially if I did it right after he fell asleep and he was in a deep sleep. Sometimes it was a pain when he stayed up late and I was exhausted. Pulling his shorts down was always a bit risky as as "wake up" factor. Luckily he easily goes back to sleep by nursing. And it was worth leaving his dignity intact.
Our newest solution is to put a cloth diaper right over his shorts (see photo above). It's working well! Since we started doing that consistently he's been dry every morning! Go figure.
My point in sharing these two stories (both about sleep and potty) is that there are often solutions to situations that are not immediately obvious or the "norm". By being creative and flexible we are modeling not only those attributes, but also showing our children that we are ready to support them the best we can. No, we are not perfect and do not have all the answers but we are their partners. Also we can try things and see if they work - if they don't, try something else! Fear often stops us from even trying. Fear of what others think, fear of being "weird", or just plain fear of waking your sleeping child!
I'd love to hear some times when you've been able to "Think Outside the Diaper" - whether you are a parent or not! Creative problem solving feels GOOD - share some of your brilliant moments! You may inspire someone else...
And I'll leave you with some more Wubbzy Wisdom, my Happy and Deep Mascot ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By The Book
Lyrics: Bob Boyle / Music: b. Mossman
It's good to do things the proper way
But if it goes wrong that's okay
If it's not right, don't be uptight
It doesn't have to be by the book
By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book
If you're out to have some fun but you find there is no sun
It's okay, enjoy the day
Even if it's not by the book
If you want to play a game but the pieces aren't the same
There's a way for you to play
Even if it's not be by the book
By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book
If the recipe calls for Doodleberry Jam...Doodleberry Jam!
But all you have is Polka-Dot Ham...Polka-Dot Ham!
It's not a waste
Enjoy the taste
Cuz it doesn't have to be by the book
When you're building something cool but you don't have the right tool
It is fine to re-design
It doesn't have to be by the book
If you have a fancy hat but you find it's rather flat
Don't be blue, try something new
It doesn't have to be by the book
By the book...By the book
It doesn't have to be by the book
It's good to do things the proper way
But if it goes wrong that's okay
If it's not right, don't be uptight
It doesn't have to be by the book
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